The Howl of Love

By Anayaza Stewart

I heard once from someone that there is no such thing as a lone wolf. That the idea of a lone wolf is a western concept, and the howl of a single wolf is a sound to signal to their pack where they are. The packs’ howls are a response. The howls illuminate the path for the lone wolf to walk towards their pack, and their packs’ journey towards them.

Every sound and step of a single wolf is just moving them closer and closer to the circle they belong to; therefore, to me every step is one of belonging. I imagine the wolves know something we may forget. That every howl and each lonely night are steps closer to home and our experience of belonging.

I feel this year of 2020 we saw a collective howl for a movement that emerged deep from the subtle inner space within all beings on this planet. A movement away from the patterns of our past. A move away from lives lived out of the sake of ideology. Our collective howl was a catalyzation for a movement towards love: true love. Loves’ very nature being of inclusion and belonging.

David Zung, 2020

As I sat in the wondrous waves of this year; I heard, over and over again, the call of my inner lone wolf. My lone wolf showed up as that part of myself that yearned to be seen and reconciled. This part of myself has been isolated from the pack. The needy, uncertain, wanting, wounded part. My inner lone wolf sounded its call. Loud, strong and consistently calling. 

Honestly, my initial reaction was a lot of aversion. I didn’t understand the sound of this call. I thought, I should be over this already. I wanted to heal myself of it, rid myself of these wounds. The deeper I went, the more surfaced about my own soul, ancestry, and childhood. It didn’t release this wound. Rather the wound metamorphosized as the wolf kept howling. As I sank deeper out of the thought of wanting to get over this, it led me to, this too is a part of me, this too is part of me. 

This wasn’t a part of myself to be healed, yet healing happened. This wasn’t a part of myself that I could release, yet release happened. I could feel that my inner pack ~my soul being~ only had love for this lone wolf, for these ancient wounds. I realized that the howl of this lone wolf is too a sound of love. These needy, uncertain, wounded parts of me are not outside of loves’ embrace. Loves’ nature is of reconciliation. Love called for inclusion of all the parts of me. For all parts to return home within. 

Love is an experience of which nothing is outside. I feel this year opened the remembrance that all parts and facets - shadow, dark, light, doubt, pain, joy are all part of life’s breath, loves’ body. Every part of us is the being of life and of love. In our acceptance of all parts of ourselves there is a chance for our pain to not take power over people around us. There is a chance for our inner lone wolf, any of our wounds, to be the womb of our wisdom.

Lis O’Kelly, 2020

To live in a paradigm of love, is not a paradigm of perfection or being right all the time or being anything all the time. It is to be fully, consistently and in deep trust of yourself.

As 2021 approaches, I feel we all have the opportunity for rebirth by listening for the Howl of Love within us. For 2020 to be the death of the separation between our inner tribe. To heed the call of our vulnerable inner selves, and to return in belonging to our diverse and vibrant inner world, to return home to love. As we welcome our inner lone wolves, the micro movement reflects the macro. We return to the circle of each other. For we are the collective we speak of, each and every one of us. 

Anayza is a practitioner of the healing arts. She shares in the world as an intuitive healer, channel, facilitator of somatic ritual, and teacher of deepening intuition. Advocating for the remembrance of our Whole, Divine, LovingNature. She is passionate about supporting others to feel liberated and connected to their inner SoulSelf.

Website: www.anayza.com

Lis O'Kelly ~ I live in an often black & white, neuro-diverse world, splashed with colour and enlivened by kids, grandkids, creative projects, home & garden-making, foraging, learning and connecting. At the heart of it all is art. Art is my hearth.